One of my favorite things about coming home to Spokane isn't just the food - that's another story for another time. It's the newspaper. And lately, watching the news. I get so excited to read the entertainment section of any major-ish city's newspaper. My favorite section in the Spokesman Review is The Slice. It's the writings of a genius columnist, Paul Turner. He always has words of wisdom that I find myself saying time and again, "That man took it right off the tip of my tongue." I'm darn jealous that he has this uncanny ability to write about it before I even think about blogging about it.

Here is a excerpt from today's Slice that I would like to expand on.

Do: Try to relax. Don't: go "gobble, gobble" while carving the bird. - The Slice

This one rang out to me so much. Being a young person, I have this ability to still know a bad joke from a good one. I know funny people from really annoying people. What really gets me in a bad mood are people who think they are so darn funny over dumb ancient remarks that only people their own age laugh at because they're all the same. I have some amazing examples:

Whenever I attend cougar football games, I always end up in the paid seating section and not the students because I'm a nice daughter and I sit with my parents in the nicer and quieter seats. There comes a time when Glen Johnson voice reigns out to say over all the speakers in the stadium, "If there is somebody in the audience that is making your stay unenjoyable, please report them to the attendants at the top of the stairs." At that point, I just sit there and wait for it. Every man and their grandmother laughs to themselves and think it's the funniest thing to point to their friend next to them. And they laugh about it and it reminds me of inconsiderate cellphone man, "Marty, you're a joker!" It's not funny! It's not funny to point to your neighbor because it happens every single time. The people that do it are all the same! They are the people who are going to laugh and repeat "gobble-gobble!" over and over again as they slice up their turkeys. Guess what everybody! It's not funny! They're the same kind of people that laugh about family jokes over and over again. The same kind of people that make awkward small talk.

The same thing happens when I go to a musical and they make some witty remark in the beginning talking about how in the "1950's there were no cellphones, so turn them off!" The audience laughs of course even if it is a courtesy laugh which should not be allowed anyways. They only contribute to the problem.

Watch out for the following occurences:

1. Wait for someone to slice the turkey this evening. They'll say "gobble-gobble". Just you wait.

2. Go to a Cougar football game. Wait for Glen Johnson to say his thing and just watch to see what happens. You'll seeing the pointing fingers and the heads tilting back to laugh and you'll swing your head away in horror.

3. Go to a theatrical performance and wait for that awkward/not-witty "silence your cellphones" and there will be those people that laugh. You'll hear them. I promise.